I have found that I'm actually petrified to put words out in the universe for others to judge, which is hilarious since I don't know that anyone will actually read this. And- since my friends and family don't even know about it- the risk of anyone calling me on this is relatively/significantly loooow.
So, get the fuck over it, right? Just write some shit down and deal with the rising panic I'm feeling.
I realize that blogs are supremely narcissistic and this is a struggle I've always had- I am, at my core, a very self-absorbed person; yet I would DIE if anyone ever said that to me. I don't want to be this way, but I am. I don't know if it's because I'm an only child who grew up with amazing parents who did nothing but tell me how special I am or just my own little personality quirk I have to take all the responsibility for. I am going with a combo of the two reasons I guess especially since I'm not so good with the whole "responsibility" thing... The gist of this rambling, I suppose, is to just be narcissistic and do the damn blog- but make sure anyone who EVER reads this knows I don't want to be seen as narcissistic. (BTW, I don't ever want to type that word again, it has way to many letters and I can' t get it right the 1st or 2nd time I type it.)
So, my hope is, the next time I post:
A. I will have something interesting/insightful to say.
B. I will not shake the entire time I'm typing.
Is that too much to ask????
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