Working outside of the home is a double-edged sword. On one hand- Man, do I miss my kids when I'm not at home with them. On the other hand- Man, is it nice not to listen to the high pitched shriek peanut emits that tends to make my ears bleed.
This whole "economic" situation has changed my life. I NEED to work more, and in some ways I WANT to work more. I feel vindicated by earning a pay check (as measly as it may be). I also provide the medical & dental benefits for the family so I feel an extra boost of self-importance.
The price I pay for working more hours is the dis-connect I feel from my kids. (Not so much hubby because we still have the after bedtime bliss to hang out and ignore each other while we're either watching T.V. or each on our own laptops.) As I mentioned before I'm not a FUN mom. As much as I want to be, there is not one ounce of me that wants to pretend two pillows are "mommy" and "baby" with little peanut after working all day. (Hell, to be completely honest, I don't really want to do that even when I'm home all day.)
Whew... Tangent... Sorry about that.
I was planning to go all IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE on your asses and instead I'm bitching about my kids. Nice.
OK, so back to my original thought. So yeah, the economy, particularly the failing housing market, has really fucked up our lives. We were the prime example of $30,000 millionaires. No savings, no planning for the future, while living in a million dollar home and buying pretty much everything we wanted, let alone needed. We went on trips and stayed in nice hotels. We went out to eat most dinners. Life was "fun". And even though it was "fun" there was always a part of me that felt like a fraud. Then it changed and it became painfully obvious that we were frauds. It was, and still is sometimes, very embarrassing.
Silver lining time, I am so grateful that the shit hit the fan at this time of our lives when we are relatively young. We still have some time to make up for the mistakes we have made and I have HOPE that we will. We have been given the gift of learning what is REALLY important. Not to say there aren't times I miss our old, fraudulent life. Particularly when I've worked all day and have to come home and cook dinner when in our other life I would have been home all day and gone out to dinner. But I am enjoying, wholeheartedly, dinner around our kitchen table with the four of us- even when it's hot dogs and salad night. (The beauty of hot dogs is you can choose red or white wine to pair with them- either one works.)
Alright- I went off course but what I'm trying to say is, even though shit is REALLY hard right now and money seems to funnel out of our hands at an alarming rate, I truly can say that my life is good and I am blessed.
But can I pay someone to play "mommy" and "baby" with Peanut?
