Wow, it's kind of embarrassing that I haven't posted in over 6 weeks. Who I might be embarrassed by is sketchy considering I don't think anyone reads this sucka, but whatever.
Anyhoo... I've been inspired lately by the usual hilarity offered up by my blog addictions so I thought I'd give it another go.
I hate to start off the year by going with the standard "girl-issue" but man, I have GOT to lose some of this weight I got hangin' on. It's sad that that's been what has consumed my thoughts as of late, but truly it's all I can think about. After my injury (stress fracture/tendonitis in my ankle) I've gained 15 lbs & lost my work-out groove, not to mention that I'm limited since the injury is still, well, injured for lack of a better word. In the last 3 years I had become a gym-rat, never lost any major poundage, but I LOVED working out- only for the immediate anti-depressant feeling I got after doing some heavy cardio. I actually enjoyed the feeling of knowing I could push myself and get to a physical goal. So, on top of my injury not allowing me to stay in that regime, I have health issues that SHOULD be enough to push me to lose the extra 35 pounds I'm holding on to. I am on high blood pressure medication and have found out I'm pre-diabetic. For FUCK'S SAKE!!! These are issues for fat, middle-aged women. Oh, I guess that would be me.
Turns out, not only is it UGLY to gain your weight in your stomach, it also sets you up for some AMAZING perks like the predisposition to the aforementioned health problems. I don't feel like a "fat person" but I sure am starting to look and feel like one.
I just finished reading a book called Thin is the New Happy by Valerie Frankel which is a memoir based on her life-long struggle with bad body image. It was good, earth shattering- NO, but good. She has adopted a Non-dieting strategy that has kept her within a healthy target zone where she fits into her "skinny" clothes and has stopped mentally kicking her own ASS every time she eats something just for the enjoyment of it. I would like, or LOVE, to get to that place. I've let fear rule my eating for too long and I think that's where she was going with her book is to let people know that you don't get anywhere living this way.
I believe that there are reason's I can't lose weight that have VERY LITTLE to do with my actual eating habits. Well, I know that my eating habits have very little to do with actual hunger.
Phew
I guess I said I would be treating this blog as a journal, so I went with it. Maybe if I can get some insight I'll share that too. I don't want this to be my place of whining about my lack of self-control with eating and how I've become a person I don't recognize physically anymore so hopefully that's the end of that.
Peace out
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